The Schematics of Serious Swimming

Friday morning, 5:45 am.  I awake from my restful 4 hours of sleep.  I roll out of bed, pull on my sweats, brush my teeth, make the decision to skip shaving my legs, grab my only swimsuit, (despite the fact that it is 2 seasons old, very stretched out, has little lumps of crumbled fabric as makeshift cups, AND is a 2-piece, which is not allowed), and hop in the car.  I pick up Emily, and we arrive at the RB shortly after 6.

Ah, the early hours of the morning.  I love them.  Really.

Upon arrival, I find out that the RB has recently ceased to lend out swim suits, but still enforce their 1-piece rule with t-shirts.  I couldn't be happier.

Banking on the lifeguard not noticing my 2-piece, I go  to the bathroom and begin to change.  While I'm changing, Emily comes over and tells me through the stall door that she just realized that she is wearing 2 suits (swimmers do that for the added resistance) and I could wear one of hers.  Emily is over 6 feet tall.  I am not.  Thus, we decided it would be best for modesty reasons for me to wear hers over mine.  Imagine a larger, more saggy version of this:

over this:

But wait, I was too cheap to buy the shorts that came with the picture above.  So I've got these babies from walmart under the one piece.

Layer all of that, add some goggles, and you've got sexy, modest, swimmin' NJP.

The swimming itself was less comical, but more embarrassing... 

A) We had to butt our way in and share lanes with other swimmers that weren't too happy to have us join.  Not to mention that I found out mid-workout that the two people in MY lane were the top BYU triathelete and a key member of the BYU triathlon club.

B) Emily's comment of, "if you learned proper technique, you'd be pretty good!"  As if my pride wasn't already dwindling by a thread.

C) I couldn't swim 2 laps consecutively without stopping to rest.  Maybe it was the added resistance?